To Thee, before the close of dayCreator of the world, we prayThat with Thy wonted favor, ThouWouldst be our Guard and Keeper now. From all ill dreams defend our eyes,From nightly fears and fantasies:Tread under foot our ghostly foe,That no pollution we may know. O Father, that we ask be doneThrough Jesus Christ Thine only … Read more
Everybody, who has invoked spirits at least once in his life is exposed to the risk of their interference in his life later. I did it only once, being 17. Together with friends we wanted to „play the game” of invoking the spirits. We sat at the table and caught our hands each other in a specific way. Everybody one after one was invoking the spirit of a famous writer. None supposed that the one to appear can be just satan, not the spirit of the dead… and that we were committing a grave sin. Everybody recited the occultist formula invoking the soul of the dead person, but disappointedly nothing happened. We were to give up that ”séance”, but I insisted that the spirit has to come. I invoked him several times and asked for a sign. I believed he’s going to listen to me….
I’m 24. I stopped believing in God in elementary school. My parents weren’t much concerned about faith, my father was an atheist. I tried to live conscionably and in line with my own vision of good. In the high school I came across light version of satanism. I started to listen to satanic music. In the beginning it looked like an innocent entertainment, a subculture, but with the passing of time I was getting more and more in. I got fascinated with evil, began to practice meditations, trances, rituals. I got addicted. It lasted four years. Nightmares came, and they were regular, I withdrew from social life to escape into the world of dreams and internet.
My confession, which I am going to write here, may seem odd or terrifying for somebody. Someone can find it just frills of a hysterical girl, bored with her life, seeking some thrill. Anyway, if there will be a single person who finds my story helpful or comforting, I am able to expose my soul before the eyes of everybody.